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Letting Go

May 1, 2012

Letting go has been talked about many times on websites, books and people all over the world……..letting go of a loved one.

Letting go can have different meaning and be interpreted differently by everyone.  Maybe people should be more specific about what they mean about letting go and not just a wide stroke of saying you have to let go and move on.

We NEVER have to”let go”. I will never let go.

BUT.

There is one part that we do have to let go of and for anyone who has ever dealt with the loss of a loved one, it’s the most difficult thing to do, letting go of the physical part of our loved one.

I have learned about letting go from the loss of our son Billy,who crossed over on June 26 2004 and of all of our loved ones who have crossed over is that,in time we have to let go of the physical part of our loved ones….in our own time. Meaning letting go of thinking and feeling that our loved one may still one day walk through that door or make that call or we will wake up thinking is was just a dream/nightmare.  Being obsessed, with hoping that they can come back to us somehow wanting to hold them as they were.  I know EXACTLY how it feels,I’ll use one of my own example’s…..of what I wanted……and this is no joke….. I have told this to only two people,before I posted this onto our group page on facebook.  Letting go is only of the physical part ONLY, we keep everything else, I will always have  memories and items of Billy with us. 

I was so desperate to find a way to get my son Billy back and I am sure that many of you felt the same way about your loved one, that I looked at books and went online to see if there was any possible way of going back in time, and I didn’t care if I had to sell my house to get it done, ( if it was even possible) to get our son Billy back.  No,of course not, But when in deep grief you will try and think of any means possible or remotely or even impossible to have your loved one back with you.  

Yes,  we do have to ” let go ” or whatever else you would like to call it, but only that one part of them, ( the physical part ) and yes it’s the most difficult thing anyone will ever have to deal with in their lives.  Like I mentioned earlier, in our own time, it’s different for everyone. There is no set time or way of doing it, we are all different and grieve differently. If  we don’t, we can’t really start to move forward with our own lives.

Our loved ones who have crossed over are always with us and so very close by,  all be it in spirit form/energy.  Our true form is spirit or energy it’s the same thing, for that is who we really are, a spirit being, using a human form experiencing a flesh and blood life here on earth in physical form to learn (earth being or school) and experience life to the fullest and most of all to LOVE……….HOW WE TREAT ONE ANOTHER.  When our own journey/purpose here on earth is completed we to go”home” heaven, otherside or afterlife all the same, where we will be reunited with our loved ones who have crossed over before us and have nothing but pure love.

I, like many of you have had to deal with “letting go” or for some of you in the process of “letting go” ( the physical part) and it doesn’t mean we let go of the memories, forget their name, don’t mention their name or remove all photo’s and things from your home…… That would be crazy, never happen.  I have and I am sure you all have and will always have great memories of your loved ones who have crossed over, I sure do and will always have them.  The same thing goes for things that belonged to them, I have kept things which belonged to our son Billy,why not Billy was and is still part of my life and I will always keep a few things of his.

Yes,”LETTING GO” of the physical part of our loved one IS the most difficult thing we can ever do, it isn’t easy, it’s also the most painful thing anyone of us will ever go through.  We are in human form, with a human mind with feelings and love.

Just because we do have to “let go’ of the ( physical part ) of our loved ones, it doesn’t mean that our loved ones will think we have forgotten about them, let them down or be upset with us or think we don’t loved them any more……no way, it doesn’t work that way.  Our loved ones always know what’s in our hearts,they know the love we have for them.

We have to take it one day at a time and if you have to one hour, one minute and even one second at a time if you have to and we DO have to. Our loved ones want with all of their hearts for us to start living our lives to the fullest again, but start at your own pace, but start.

Love is everything and nothing else matters.

Our facebook group page, feel free to visit or join if you like.

http://www.facebook.com/groups/223805824358789/

I sometime receive emails from other grieving parents and one of the things they have asked me is,  how was I able to deal with the loss of our son Billy. Some of the ways that I have dealt with our loss are mentioned in previous post on this blog.  One that I haven’t written about on this blog,  is written about on our website www.oursonbilly.com .

Some of the parents who have emailed me thanked us for writing about it on our website and book, Signs From Our Loved Ones, so I will write about it on this blog.

About 8 months after our son Billy crossed over to heaven we had the opportunity and honor to have a reading with Spirit messenger Vicki Monroe, that was February 16 2005. The reading was amazing and it took a load of my shoulders, knowing that we can still make a connection with our son Billy.  I don’t remember if Vicki asked me the question during the reading or afterwards, but she could see that I was having a difficult time dealing with the loss of our son Billy, but it went like this, Vicki said;

What if it was the other way around, what if you Guy had died and crossed over to heaven and Billy was grieving for you the way you are for Billy;  How would you, Guy in heaven feel about how Billy was grieving  and feeling for you.    Great question.

Great question indeed, but at the time my grief was to strong for me to start thinking about, what if it was the other way around.  I kind of let it go in one ear and out the other, although it did stay in the back of my mind.

It may have been about 4 to 5 months later when the same question was asked of me again, this time it did sink in.  Again like the first time, a great question. I started to think,  if it was the other way around, how would I now in heaven feel after crossing over to heaven and our son Billy was grieving for me the way I was for Billy. I didn’t like it, I would not want Billy or anyone else to be grieving for me the way I was for him. It made me feel very sad that I may have made Billy crossing over to heaven a bit of a sad one. Maybe one day I will have to ask Billy that question, it could be very helpful to know,  if so,  maybe we can help others know that it may have an effect on them, then again it may not. 

Anyway, I would from heaven do everything I could possibly do to help Billy to let go of those feelings and to start moving forward with his life, to be happy, live life to the fullest, have joy and start having fun again.  because when it’s time for Billy to cross over to heaven we will be together again.  I want to make myself clear, it’s okay to grieve, it’s when it starts to be prolonged, you stay depressed or your start to go into a deep depression and if all you do is keep thinking about the loss of your loved one, that isn’t good. We all have someone here in flesh and blood that loves us and wants to start living again.

Our loved ones in heaven do not want us to  grieve any longer then we have to.  There is not set way or time frame for how anyone does grieve or for how long, we are all different, but there comes a time when we have to start the process of moving forward living our lives and enjoy the people who are still with us.  We have to let go of the physical part of our loved one who has crossed over,  remember they are still with us in our true form spirit with all of their memories,  they know how we are feeling, what we are thinking, they know how we feel about them and they know whats in our hearts.  They want us to be happy.

When this was mentioned to me the second time around I started to think about it the other way around, I knew that I had to change about how I was feeling.  For me it was a combination of thing that helped in some way,  from my wife, family, friends and others including spirit messenger Vicki Monroe,  and receiving signs from Billy which is really cool,  and thinking about, what if it was the other way around all of these helped me to start the process of moving forward and living my life again. 

What I can tell you is that it takes time, one step and one day at a time, things will start to get better in time. You will start to have many good days and less of the bad days, which is what our loved ones in heaven help us to do, but we have to do our part. Keep in mind, what if it was the other way around, how would you feel about how your loved one was grieving for you.

I am willing to say that,  if it was the other way around,  that you from heaven would do everything that you could to help your grieving loved one to begin the process of moving forward, living life to the fullest and to be happy.

I am also willing to say that your loved one who have crossed over to heaven is most definitely trying to help you to start moving forward with your life, to be happy again, start having fun , living life to the fullest, having joy…….. right now.

Remember,  our loved ones are always close by helping us from heaven in whatever our journey here on this physical life may be and they want us to live life to the fullest.  Just remember take it one step and one day at a time.

Have a great day

Guy